This pages has lots of emails I got in the pasts.
>From: Mike Thompson <mpthompson@home.net> >To: gerald_holmes@hotmail.com >Subject: A gaping hole in your GH-EULA >Date: Sun, 21 Nov 1999 20:45:49 -0800 > >Hey Gerald, > >I found a big hole in your GH-EULA. You will sue the long >hairs that use Linux and the long hair wanna be's that >use Macintosh when they read your web pages, but what about >those of us who use FreeBSD. Ha, ha... We can read your >pages all you want and you can't touch us can you? And we >hate Windows more than all the Linux and Macintosh long >hairs put together. Na, na, na, na... > >Mike Thompson > >P.S. Even though I hate Windows, I agree with what you said >about the Canadians. Your right, it is dark up there 9 months >of the year and they hate technology.
Okay Miks Thompson you are rights I will has to makes some changes to the GH-EULAs so that you freeBSDs peoples can go back to the Berkleys and do your sit ins and smoke pot and do the protests and do riots thats what the B is BSds is all aobut after alls you are just like the hippy mac users and the linus longhairs you are like a crossbreed that got crossbreeded and is a mutt I saw a dog once that was a strange dogs it had a really big heads and a little weiner dog body and it was funny to look at just like freeBSDs. Also even though you are a bad freebsds person and you dont know how smarts bill Gates is and Micorsoft at least its good to know that you know all abou the canadians. Oh can-a-da, something something something. I think the song is about how they like to build igloos and also to go climb a very high mountain with snows on it and then take a canoe ride and go watch the hockeys boy talk about primitives oh boy. Love, Gerald
>From: "k ." casual_frown@hotmail[something].com >To: gerald_holmes@hotmail.com >Subject: Microsoft Site >Date: Sun, 22 Aug 1999 23:55:32 GMT > >Gerald, >You are possibly one of the biggest morons I have ever encountered >on the Internet, and know I have encountered many a moron, yet never >have I come across someone quite as stupid as you are. So, you're a >Microsoft fan, eh? PERHAPS BEFORE DEVOTING A SITE TO THE COMPANY, >IT WOULD BE A WISE MOVE TO LEARN HOW TO SPELL THE NAME PROPERLY, YOU >DINGBAT!! I myself am a Microsoft user, and, yes, it is >satisfactory, certainly not fantastic to the point of idolizing Bill >Gates. Now, I don't know, nor do I care about the source of your >bizarre infatuation with the man, but I strongly advise you to get a >life, or at least learn to spell. >-kayla.
Hey kayla I thinks Micorsoft is good no matter how you spells it I think you probably aggrees with me and plays spaced cadets too Want to play against me in a tournament? I warn you tho Im real good and someone says I could beat bill Gates in spaces cadets but I dont know if thats truth hes really really smart you know. Love, Gerald
>From: "David G[someth]in" therealswinger@[something]mail.com >To: gerald_holmes@hotmail.com >Subject: Ok, you degenerate fool, listen up... >Date: Sun, 15 Aug 1999 03:53:14 PDT > >Dear mr F-[somethin] Mornon > >I have to honestly say that your site is the single most stupid site >on the entire internet. How do I know for sure? I just do you >stupidhead! What the f[somethin] kind of idiot are you? > >Now I don't like Microsoft all that much but I accept them for what >they are, the big guy, the ones who brought us a standard for >operating systems. That's fine. you may not like Macs, or Linux. >Fine, you don't know much a bout them and you fear what you don't >know. Fine whatever. > >But you crossed the FU-[SOMETHING] line when you began insulting Canada. >You know JACK-SH-[SOMETHING] about Canada you poorly informed simpleton. It is >NOT dark 9 months a year you simple minded inbreed fool! We do NOT >hate technology, in fact per-capita Canada is a GREATER fan of >technology than Americans. 80% of Canadians have computers and 60% >are on the internet. Some of the BIGGEST technology companies are >based in Canada. ATi Technologies, Matrox Graphics Incorperated, >Creative, Cambridge. that precious little sound card that came in >your computer, along with your FREE (what the [something], are you that >stupid, you're paying for it in the total price) copy of windows was >made by a Canadian company. > >Now as for your fondness of Bill gates, all I can say is that you >are one [something]-ed up man (child?) No one in their right mind would find >him "cool" and no kid is going to dress like him. > >As for Bill gates discovering the internet??? Are you a [someth]-ing >moron!? The United States Military designed the internet matrix in >1967 and it became avaliable for commercial use in the early 70s. >Bill gates BOUGHT DOS in the early 80s and THEN made it big using >someone else's technology. LOOK AT A [SOMETH]ING TIMELINE YOU FOOL! > >As for macs not being able to multi task. THEY [SOMETH]-ING INVENTED IT. >WINDOWS IS A PC VERSION OF MAC OS!! YOU [SOMETH]-ING A-[SOMETHING]! > >As for you linu(s)???? crap, you ARE a moron! You should have your >computer taken away from you because you are too stupid to use it. > >As for your blatent lack of knowledge of the ways of the computer >industry, do us all a favor and go hang out in a construction zone >and state your case there. Perhaps if we, the rest of humanity, are >lucky enough, you'll be killed or encased in the deep recesses of a >concrete foundation of some building, never to trouble us again. > >OK, I doubt you're serious with this site, but if you are, I hope >your god will forgive your sins and purges you of the stupidity you >must live with everyday. You are the biggest idiot I have ever >encountered on the internet. > > >PLEASE EMAIL ME WITH YOUR RESPONSE! > >DaveWell after I gots over the initial shocks of such crude and vulgars languages (oh my he used some bad words oh man you should have heard it oh no never mind I dont want you to hears it its bad for you) I decideds to right back to him after alls he said PLEASE EMAIL ME in all capital letters and that means I has to rights back oh yes.
Hello Davids you have a nice contrys up there in canadas did you live in the part where the snow melts sometime I knows a people from canadas they live in arizona now because its not dark their for 10 and a half months. Do you know Alanis Morizetty she lives from canada and sings songs I like her also Gordons Lightfeet I think they should do a duet and then maybe go out on a date tell them hi for me. Oh also I have this threoy have you every seen the Late shows with David Lettersman? Its pretty good I dont know if you can see it in canadas because its all in english not parisian and also you might not have a tvs up there but if you can go see it acrossed the border you should sometime its got a guy Paul Shaver who is a canadians and here is my theory that Paul Shavers is really in controls of CBS and runs all the shows hes very smart you know I think he might be almost as powerfuls as bill Gates but not in computers in tvs he owns and controls all the tvs but no one knows Its a conspiracies and is very secret. Okay bye now use windows and make it everywheres sometimes. Love, Gerald
From: Darren Schebek dschebek@[something]starnetc.com To: gerald_holmes@hotmail.com Subject: hey, gerald! Date: Mon, 16 Aug 1999 14:54:46 -0700 It's been a long time since I've read a web site that's as funny^H^H^H^H^Hinformative as yours. I'm very aware of how difficult it is to write like a complete idiot^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hsuch informative prose and yet manage to be so convincing^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^Heducational. Being Canadian, it saddens me to see fellow Canadians with no sense of humour^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hrespect for Micorsoft enthusiasts. Oh well, I get a huge laugh^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hlots of insight from your site, so keep up the good work. Too bad i have to use linus at work because thats what my job requires i use Micorsoft at home and like playing Duke Nukem its a DOS game and i really like it i dont have Space Cadets yet.
>From: "randy hancock" randyjoebob@hotmail[something].com >To: gerald_holmes@hotmail.com >Subject: Neat story that happened to me >Date: Sat, 07 Aug 1999 10:06:36 PDT > >The other day I was out with my friend and he wanted to go to his >friends house and so we went there and when we got there I noticed >that his friend had long hair and I thought about what you said >about long-hairs and I wondered if he was a linus user. We went into >his room and sure enough there was a computer and it had a $ like >that on it and I asked him if he was a linis user and he said that >that computer was running with youniks but that he had another >computer that was running linus and it was in the other room so I >grabbed his long stupid hair and punched him in the stomach and said >you stupid long-hair!! and then I went up to the computer and I >opened it up and it was full of poop from having linus run on it for >so long so I took the poop and threw it on the dumb-long-hair I >think his name was bob so then bob pooped all over the floor and his >mom came in and I turned and puked all over her dumb hippie dress >and she said oh my gosh! and I kicked her in the leg and she didn't >like that so she made me leave the house but I managed to sneak out >the bad linus computer full of poop and I took it out on to the >street and threw it down a big hole but there was a guy in the hole >and some of the poop got on him so he got out and tried to get me >but I was too fast.I wrote this fellow back and said:
Good job my son thats a real good thing you did it real good you are FAST! Wow you run real FAST!!! love, Gerald
>From: "John Doe" jahn_dough@hotmail.com >To: gerald_holmes@hotmail.com >Subject: Your webpage >Date: Sat, 31 Jul 1999 21:21:03 PDT > >Let me get this straight - You at one point had a job doing Tech >Support for Microsoft products, and you still don't know how to use >the Spell Check on a Microsoft product? Now I see why it's easier >to just fix the problem myself rather than calling Tech Support.Hey that was before the accidents dont you know that just because maybe I wont answer your questions oh boy you dont know nothings.>Secondly, your GH-EULA carries no actual legal weight, and you'd be >wasting your money to try to pay your lawyers to defend it. It only >carries legal weight if the user has an option to decline >acceptance, and then proceeds. You also need to spell out the >consequences of violating it more clearly than "You'll be in >trouble"oh yeah well my lawyers say otherwise you person who doesnt know laws you will get in trouble your making me mads oh boy.>Next, there is no operating system called "linus" There is a >person, NAMED Linus Torvalds who wrote an operating system called >"Linux", and he's kind enough to give it away for free to those of >us who cannot afford a computer powerful enough to run Windows.hes not kind hes a long hair who wants to ruin the economies and free trades and have communism and make us all where the smae clothes and work in a coal mine.>Finally, did I mention that I'm a lawyer for freeyellow.com, and >your page is going to be shut down for violating our Terms of >Service that you agreed to when you began your hosting experience >with us. In addition, we find your webpage slanderous, and have >advised attorneys for Linus Torvalds, Steve Jobs, Linux Corporation, >Macintos Corporation, and the Microsoft corporation to sue you for >Slander, Trademark Violation, False Representation, and Breach of >Contract.Oh man now you is in real troubles you lawyer My lawyers are tougher than you they can eat your lunch just like Micorsoft can eat everyones lunch and dinner and something they call linner too which is some thing between lunch and breakfast I think but you tell me smart guy. Oh and if you talked to Linux Torvalds or Stephen Jobs than you violated my GH-EULA and Ill hav eyour license revoked theyll put you before the bar and rip the patches off of your navy coat and youll get demoted and have some demerits and then go to jail for a long long long time or maybe not but oh boy. Also freeyellow is free and yellow get it ha ha hahahahahaha they like my pages good and even if they dont then they must be long hairs and Ill sue them too for looking at my pages so there. I think its good that you works for them cause you are yellow ha ha ha Whats the matter boy you yellow? ha hahahaha.>Have a nice day.No you have one I already got one cause I run Micorsoft windows with the space cadet add on that is really fun you should try it but then maybe it would make you sad oh well. love, Gerald
Okay listen no more jokes lets read the emails:
>From: Nordmeyer Stinklestien equus@info.[something]point.net >To: gerald_holmes@hotmail.com >Subject: Da, ya. you betcha >Date: Thu, 29 Jul 1999 17:56:43 -0500 > >Der ya go! Ya know up here in Fargo we use det der wind'er stuff to ya >know. I just got dat der windows 3.11 installed der last month. purdy >spiffy program dontcha know. > >I gotta tell ya, we got dem der long hair'd college kids in dat house >across the way from us ya know, ya suppose they use det der linus os yer >talkin bout? Do yuh tink ah should preach to dem about dat der windows >3.11? > >I dunt like it when dem people think we out here in the boonies dun't no >nothin 'bout technologee. I want you to know too I just up graded my >386 8mhz computer to 2 megs of ram so I could run det der windows 3.11. >That's pretty speciall don't you think there? > >So dem long hairs there, ya think it would give us a bad reputashun if >people found out that them satan worshiping linus users were stinking up >the place? > >But then I see all dem purdy chicks going in to see dem long hairs. You >tink dem chicks like dat linus stuff? Maybe if i went over der dey'd >think i was purdy smart too? I been practicing yer lines about >"stupidhead this" and "stupid head" dat. I tink I am ready. I will >e-mail you en tell ya how it went der.... > >yer friend, > >Nordmeyer.And here's my reply:
From: gerald_holmes@hotmail.com To: Nordmeyer Stinklestien equus@info.[something]point.net Date: Fri Jul 1999 12:26:32 Yes. love, Gerald