"Good morning!" is an opinion, not a greeting
"WHO CARES where Carmen Sandiego is?"
......64..65...66...67...68...69... "STOP RIGHT THERE!"
69, 714, 2112 : Sex, drugs, and Rock and Roll!
CCITT: Can't Conceive Intelligent Thoughts Today
Good girls go to heaven. Bad girls go EVERYwhere
Don't Drink and Park, Accidents Can Cause People
Kıı 2.8 Generic Away Message.
SOBER: Son of a Bitch Everything's Real
Kuang Eleven, Version 2, He Ain't Here!
"Eat shit, mother!" cried Pooh rebelliously
...I love children!  They taste just like chicken
...I multi-task, I read in the bathroom
...So simple a child could do it?  Go find me a child!
A nuclear war can ruin your whole day...
A perfect woman is one that is inflated to 40psi
Baby oil does -NOT- come from squeezing dead babies...
Dentist's famous last words: "You won't feel a thing..."
Does "PIRATE" software come with a treasure map?
Got my Uzi, got some Scotch...let's go to Disneyland!
Gravity doesn't exist. The Earth sucks
Gun Control:  Ability to hit what you aim at!
Have a cold? Let me introduce you to Doc Jack Kevorkian
Hey Santa, can I have a copy of your naughty girls list?
I was talking during sex and my girlfriend hung up
I'm not lost, I'm "locationally challenged."
I'm not rude, I'm "attitudinally challenged"
If at first you don't succeed, call it Ver 1.0
If two wrongs don't make a right, But three Lefts Do!
If you can't laugh at yourself ... I'll do it for you
It wasn't my fault your wife wandered into my house!
It's not a BUG, it's an undocumented feature!
Microwave Hint#3: Make a hole in the turtle's shell first
Multitasking = screwing up several things at once
Never hit a man with glasses.  Use your fist!
Schizophrenia beats being alone